Deployment

Oh Deployment.  That dreaded "D" word that no spouse in the military wants to hear.  I have to be honest.  The day I found out that Ian was being deployed in 3 short months happened to be the same day of one of my best friends weddings.  I was down for a moment but decided not to think about it because it was an exciting day and we had only heard through word of mouth.  But the following day I was pretty bummed.  I was just starting to accept the fact that Ian would be moving to the other side of the country and now he was getting deployed.  I thought it was the most unfair thing ever. 

I let myself mope around and be bummed for a few days then I accepted the fact that it was something I couldn't change and it was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.  I started of thinking of the "positives".  For example, I could make super awesome care packages.  I also knew I was going to be super busy with school, rowing, clinicals and nannying so even if he wasn't deployed I wouldn't be able to visit him in CA anyway. 

I started searching the internet and pinterest for different deployment care package ideas.  I wanted to make this the best possible experience for both Ian and I.  Even though this was his career, he had a ton thrown at him the past few months and I knew it wouldn't be easy for him.  One of my favorite ideas I came across was the "open when..." letters.  I contacted his family and friends and asked people to write him a letter and of course I wrote a ton! Then each letter was put in an envelope with a picture that said "open when..." and said either a specific date or a time when he was feeling down or homesick, etc.  I gave all of those to him before he deployed and I think I sent around 30.  It was pretty awesome for him to have something to open so often!

Now that the deployment is over I've realized a few things.  But, as a disclaimer just like every couple's relationship is different, everyone's deployment experience is different.  This is just what I learned.
*You might cry at a random time in a random place.  It will happen.  Just let it out, don't try to hold it in.
*You can still have fun without them there.  Girls nights are acceptable and sometimes really needed.
*Stuffed animals and your signifcant others clothes are the best sleeping buddies.
*Your friends and family will be your saviors. Call, text, video chat them.  It helps.
*STAY BUSY.  It'll make your days go by faster.
*Do things for yourself. I trained for a marathon.  It kept me very busy and I had fun!
* Email will become your best friend. Even if you don't hear from him one day, send an email anyway.  It helps.
*Your relationship will grow and change.  In a good way! (for us at least) We're closer and better than ever.
*Make your own decision and opinion about deployment.  I heard a ton of horror stories and none ended up applying to me.  Deployment doesn't have to be a terrible thing.
*DO NOT compare yourself to others.  Try not to get upset when someone got 5 phone calls and you got none.  Ian's job kept him super busy and he had trouble with his calling card so I only got one phone call the entire deployment.  BUT I did get facetime calls every time he was in port.

That's just my opinion and I hope others have a positive experience as well!